Hi my name is Chik and I'm an addict...

I’m an addict. I can’t help it. Sometimes (who am I kidding… every time I type the darn website into my browser) it draws me in. I think… oh I’ll just read one and then next thing you know I’ve virtually attended a dozen or more complete strangers weddings! It’s like late 20 something, single girl crack. I look at the pictures, read their proposal stories, steal ideas for my own wedding one day in 2057, admire their bling, think how I would never wear a gown so unflattering. Why do I care to look at strangers weddings? Sometimes I get tired of going to weddings of people I actually know (this is probably because since I’ve been single I’ve attended 73 weddings all alone). Geez… half the time I think I might just elope so why can’t I help myself? Just like other addicts, I’m just trying to get a fix. Maybe to fix the afternoon if I’m feeling lonely or bored. It’s like a little pick me up minus the calories. Or maybe because I’m a glutton for punishment and I just want to be sure I know when The Troll is engaged so I can stop wondering (all other serious ex’s are engaged or married already). So you see… it’s not just stranger weddings I’m fascinated with. I’ve also discovered yet another way to internet stalk people from my past. First there was google, then myspace, then linked-in for professional reasons, but theknot.com is really in a category all its own. I can type in the bride or grooms name and viola… I have discovered their wedding webpage. Let’s be honest. Half the time I google someone it’s to figure out what’s new in their lives. And when you’re my age most often the “new thing” is marriage (or babies – yay my first girlfriend just had one last week). Why play around on google to find someone’s status when you can simply go straight to a wedding source. So… with all this site has to offer how can I not get sucked in just a little bit?

My poor friend E is usually the recipient of my latest find on theknot. Today I sent her a sweet proposal story (of a stranger nonetheless and she had to ask "who are Tricia and Chad again??"), a few weeks ago she was privy to find out a random guy from college, who was DEFINITELY not the settling down type, was now in fact married (cute proposal story included on that one too). I believe that discovery led to approximately 3 hours of e-mailing about certain people we could not believe were married. And then ironically enough, I ran into said dudes old roommate that same weekend and had to play dumb about the marriage knowledge. And that my friends is precisely why I know this is a true addiction. Addicts are usually in a state of denial. And until today I’ve been there. Consider this my first step towards cleaning up my life. I am on the path towards recovery. I’m hopeful by this spring I will be free to find out about life and weddings the way god intended… via text.