Pumpkin Bar Bumpkin

In honor of my very favorite time of the year (the build up to football season is a close second)
I want to share a recipe I tried this past weekend (to take to a football party of course). These will be making an appearance at my family Thanksgiving Fun Fest!

These are Pumpkin Chip Bars and they are quite tasty. In fact, someone who tried one (or 5) let me know these made it onto his "top three desserts" list. Wow!

As always I've made some slight enhancements to the original recipe (Martha Stewart baking cookbook from last winter). Instead of using Pumpkin Pie Seasoning I mixed my own (cinnamon, allspice, ginger and nutmeg) and I replaced the suggested semi-sweet chocolate chips with milk chocolate. Also - my friend decided to add cream cheese frosting to a few and that seemed to go over really well!

Ingredients
Makes 24.
2 cups (spooned and leveled) all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon pumpkin-pie spice
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 large egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1 package (12 ounces) semisweet or milk chocolate chips (I prefer milk chocolate)
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line bottom and sides of a 9-by-13-inch baking pan with foil, leaving an overhang on all sides. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, pie spice, baking soda, and salt; set aside.

With an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar on medium-high speed until smooth; beat in egg and vanilla until combined. Beat in pumpkin puree (mixture may appear curdled). Reduce speed to low, and mix in dry ingredients until just combined. Fold in chocolate chips.

Spread batter evenly in prepared pan. Bake until edges begin to pull away from sides of pan and a toothpick inserted in center comes out with just a few moist crumbs attached, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely in pan. Lift cake from pan (using foil as an aid). Peel off foil, and use a serrated knife to cut into 24 squares.

New Driver

Wow… a month and a half with nothing. So this is what happens when you make a personal vow to blog about bad dates and then suddenly have none. It’s not that I’ve been having no dates. Just no bad dates. Wow… I can’t believe those words were typed on a keyboard anywhere close to me! I’ve actually been going on good dates with a boy. “The boy” as my mom and I have taken to calling him.

A few words about my mom. She knows me. I mean REALLY knows me. It’s creepy sometimes. She just gets me. Gets it. And remembers EVERYTHING (except of course the smattering of childhood memories I swear to have that she claims never actually occurred – hello riding on the fire truck in South Carolina). Anyway… I digress. My mom has learned over the years that she must absolutely not put a label on my love life. Other than labeling me as her eternally single and fabulously independent daughter. Those labels I can handle. The labels about my love life I cannot. Over the years she has graciously adopted my favorite term of “just being.” I can be someone’s friend, I can eventually (a way far off until I feel totally ready to commit to that kind of title eventually) be someone’s girlfriend. The in between period is called “just being.”

Through this most recent “just being” phase I’ve discovered something. The dating game is a lot like learning how to drive. And refresher courses should really be mandatory for those of us who temporarily had our license suspended.

There are signals and signs. Some are mixed and confusing and you always pray “Wrong Way” isn’t referring to the lane you’re driving in. Accelerating and breaking are common. Sometimes it’s only in anticipation and other times it’s in response to your fellow drivers. Either way… whiplash is no fun. I think about some of my friends who were so eager to hit the open road. While I on the other hand, was a little more cautious, thinking how scary it all seemed. I took it nice and slow and avoided the major highways until I felt safe on the backroads. Eventually we all got there, some faster than others. There those “rules” everyone knows to follow that are glaringly obvious like a giant Do Not Enter sign straight ahead. No talk of religion or politics or god forbid ex’s. Remember Do Not Enter is there for a reason. Sometimes if you go down that path you might get stuck. In the end the worst thing that can happen is feeling like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck or have reached a Dead End.

Learning how to drive isn’t all bad though. When you do eventually hit the open-up road it can be really fun. Wind in your hair on a beautiful sunny fall day can’t stop smiling kind of fun. You want to show off your new car to all your friends. And you can finally forget about that old model you thought was great at first but turned out to be a real lemon. It’s a great car for learning but not a keeper.

Just like we learned in driving school… sometimes we stall and just need a battery recharge to remind us how to get going again.

Prince Not-So Charming

So who decided that Prince Charming was the gold standard of all princes? Did this person ever actually try to date? I'm pretty convinced she didn't. Because if she spent anytime outside of whatever fairytale she was living in, I'm sure she would realize Prince Charming a) is damn hard to find b) is charming for a reason.

In my experience charming means one thing...

He's had time to hone his charming skills and it wasn't by spending time with old ladies at tea parties.

The most charming person I know is a guy I went to college with. He's smart, handsome, clever, flirty and could basically charm the pants off anyone. And I'm pretty sure plenty of pants have fallen as a result. Charm takes practice ladies. It is not the natural state of most men.

So Cinderella basically gave it up to a man-whore. Kind of ruins that Disney movie for me. Really, should little girls all over the world want to meet a guy who doesn't even have a name? Haven't they seen Dateline on Friday nights?! And honestly, what guy is that into shoes anyway?

Let's be realistic, we've all met Prince Confused, Prince Non-Committal and Prince Creepy. Those guys are running around all over the place. They pop-up everywhere. I've experienced all they have to offer and so have you. And no one I know has even gotten a pair of uncomfortable shoes out of it.

So why do we keep looking for our own Prince Charming, even though conventional wisdom would tell us to give up? The same reason we keep buying hair products and expensive face creams. We are convinced that one day we will find the one that actually works and makes us realize what we've been living without for all these years.

It may feel like an urban legend, but I have friends who have found it (hair products, face creams and the guy!). They give me hope. I make them tell me their own fairytale whenever I feel like mine is only a bad joke with a lame punchline. They don't let me give up. They remind me that their Prince Charming is actually Prince Makes Me Laugh and Breakfast in Bed or Prince Squishy In The Middle But Always Thoughtful.

He's out there somewhere. In my case he's probably holding a running shoe instead of a glass slipper.

The Texter Comes A Callin'

Okay first of all sorry for so much dead air-time. I suppose if this were radio station I would lose my sponsors. I have no sponsors (and apparently no fans - hello people leave me some comments so I know this isn't a secret journal that just happens to be online!) so I can continue with my story....

So imagine this - last fall, went to a local bar with a girlfriend for the World Series, met two "dudes," one almost started a fight protecting my friend from a creep who claimed he wanted to impregnate her (isn't this a romantic story?), dude number two claims he had been admiring me at the gym for months (side note - keeping your headphones on at the gym apparently does actually work to keep creepy guys from talking to you while you are sweating and trying to workout), he got my number and never really learned how to dial it.

You see friends - this is how I met "The Texter"

Our first date was fine, we went to a bar and watched football. He wanted to do shots which was slightly weird, but I was in my "I am not actually ready to date anyone, I simply want attention from the opposite sex phase" so it was okay with me.

Date number two was my turn to plan so we went to the art museum for a cultural event and then had dinner. He seemed to enjoy himself and I believe there was a brief smooch at the door (part of this phase was also the invention of my "vertical kissing only" rule - more on that later).

Sadly, somewhere after date number two and oh.... about 2 hours ago, "dude" turned into "The Texter" - a guy who was incapable of dialing a telephone and asking me out like a normal person.

"dinner 2morrow"
"what u doin"
"hi"
"u around"
"watchin idol"

I had to quickly learn how to decipher mixed signals, poor grammar and complete ignorance to punctuation. In person he flirted and was chatty, then over the phone he was like a 14 year old boy talking to his buddies.

For months our "relationship" continued in a bizarre back and forth texting only dialogue. The guy NEVER called me. I don't know about the rest of you but I have a hard time getting to know someone when they only way they communicate is in 3 letter words and acronyms. I am a fairly sensible gal and appreciate the beauty of the brief text message, but seriously guys... texting is LAZY! If you are that lazy when you are trying to woo me, I don't even want to know the extent of your laziness. It got to a point that I would blatantly refuse to go out with him if he didn't actually pick up the phone and ask me properly (needless to say we didn't go out very often).

So I moved away and continued receiving an occasional text over the next several months. I heard nothing all summer and then tonight. BAM! A text. "hello how have you been?" I think my man drought has been detected all the way in my home state.

We communicated in our normal texting pattern and suddenly the unexpected happens. My phone rings. He not only learned how to use punctuation this summer, but he also learned how to dial.

His first comment was that he "can't take this texting anymore" so he decided to actually call. Our conversation was pleasant, mature and the longest I'd ever spoken to him over the phone. We promised to stay in touch.

It was sweet, "The Texter" actually seems to have matured over the past year. He went from debatable to dateable. If anyone is interested I can give you his number. Send him a text he'll love it.

Miss-Match.com

If I'm going to blog that means I need dates. And since I am currently in the middle of a man drought I am resorting to desperate measures.

Match.com

They say third times the charm right?

I've just reviewed the possibilities and If I'm going to do this I realize I need to establish some criteria:

- No tank tops – I don’t want to see your armpits before I’ve met you in person
- I don’t care how your friends would describe you – I’m sure Charles Mansons friends thought he was a real cool guy too
- If you have professional pictures posted I’m pretty sure you aren’t interested in the ladies
- Okay duh… who doesn’t like “exploring all Chicago has to offer” – Isn’t that inherently why we all live here? If I wasn’t into it I would move to Boise
- Pictures of you and a million chicks does not make me feel like you are anymore attractive or in tune with the ladies. I think it's safe to assume you've slept with at least one of the chicks in the picture
- DO NOT MENTION YOUR RECENT BREAK-UP – Hello emotionally unstable. I don't need to pay $30 a month to find you. I'm just fine doing that on my own thanks. Seriously.

So friends - How would you describe me? ; )

Football and baking season is here!

I know fall is near because yesterday I saw the much loved (by me) and very tasty maple scones at Starbucks. However, I realize they are not so great for maintaining a skinny jeans and clingy knits kinda look. So last night I took part in two of my favorite activities... baking and football watching! I found a recipe and tweaked it a little to add in oats (hello heart healthy) and a few of my favorite secret ingredients. These were very tasty right out of the oven.

Low-Fat Cinnamon Oatmeal Scones

1/2 cup non-fat vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup non-fat sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp lemon juice
2 cups flour
3/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup + 3 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
3-4 Tbsp chilled low fat margarine
1 tbsp brown sugar to top
If you can... A sprinkle of Vanilla Sugar from The Spice House(North and Wells)
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Whisk together the yogurt, sour cream, lemon juice and vanilla. Set aside.
Prepare baking sheet by spraying lightly with vegetable oil.

In a large bowl:Combine the flour, oats, sugar, baking powder, soda, cinnamon and salt.
Cut in the margarine until the mixture resembles course meal.
Cut and fold the yogurt/sour cream mixture into the flour until you can collect the dough.
Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface just until it can be shaped. DO NOT OVERWORK THE DOUGH, the scones will be tough.

Place the dough on the baking sheet.Pat the dough into an 8" - 10" long "log." Dust the top of the dough with 1 tbsp sugar, 1tbsp brown sugar (for those in Chicago a sprinkle of Vanilla Sugar from The Spice House is delish). Cut "to," not "through" the dough to mark 8 wedges. Bake the scones 20 minutes at 400 Deg.

You can add fillers (raisins, chips, etc.) or press nuts (almonds, pecans, etc.) onto the top before baking.

Keep Your Banana To Yourself

I'm done and apparently so is the banana bread across the street.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about the baking (hello yummy low fat cinnamon oatmeal scones I made last night - recipe to come later). But seriously, if you have a girlfriend, I'm not interested in your tasty sweets before bed or first thing in the morning. So stop trying to tempt me with them.

I'm also not interested in your girlfriends leftovers - that means you and the extra batter she has no use for.

I can see where this is going. I'm going to end up bruised. And we all know no one likes a bruised banana.

You are already part of a bunch so keep your banana to yourself please.